Girls out there!! How do you get an upper hand in a relationship without seeming too controlling?

Mr. Chivalry says, ';Why would women try to get an upper hand? A real partnership consists of two people who treat each other equally and respectfully.';





Mr. Chivalry has spoken.Girls out there!! How do you get an upper hand in a relationship without seeming too controlling?
let him know that your love is special and that you need special attention. if he loves you enough, anything you want is yours.Girls out there!! How do you get an upper hand in a relationship without seeming too controlling?
HM%26gt;%26gt; CONTROL HIM CONTROL HIM......OR YOU WILL END UP COOKING FOR HIM LIKE A SLAVE!!





I LIKE TO CONTROL!! BOSSY BOSS OF THE HOUSE!! YUP...
Manipulation. :D Make him do the things you want him to do by making it the only way for him to get what he wants. But don't ever outright tell him to do something. Then if he says you are controlling you can say, I didn't tell you to do anything!
You shouldnt want to. Thats not fair or respectful.
Just agree with everything he says... and suggest that you have an ';idea'; guys are idiots..... they'll say ohh ok! ANd do as you please!
This may sound conniving but it works!!! Men are easily manipulated once they do not realise it. The thing to do is to gently move him in the direction u want to go. Drop hints, etc. Let him believe it was his idea in the first place and he will do anything you want and still feeling manly.
It's not easy, when you want something you just have to make it clear. There should be no upper/lower hand in a relationship... Just communication and compromise.





If you don't like that then your not ready for a relationship.
There are two ways...


1. You want to act as though you are going with what they (the man) want, show appriciation for their needs and slowly convince them (the man) that your idea and/or needs are really theirs.


2. You always use ';I'; statements when talking, never demand or test your man, and never doubt that when it all comes down to it, you hold all the cards (if you really want to).
just put your hand over his and get to controlling the situation
be very understanding, and then just give an opinion!
Good relationship is equal relationship. You will dump the guy sooner or later if you have the upper hand, or he will run away from you (aka dump you.)





Easiest way to get an upper hand in a relationship without being controlling is hiring a servant.
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT;JUST BE YOURSELF. MOST LIKELY YOU HAVE A STRONG PERSONALITY ALREADY SO JUST DO WHAT YOU DO NATURALLY.
Why do you feel the need to have the upper hand or to be controlling in the first place?
Manipulation is definitely the key....Create the illusion it is their idea!





Use small words! ....smile
your the girls, you don't. jeeeezzzthe sooner you realize that, the easier it'll go for ya.
It is OK to let some things slide but u need to have control from jump, at least a little u Need to let him know that u are the best person int he world and the worst person in the world if he messes with u and make u mad. Don't let him slide on things such as being late, talking any old kind of way to you, and being down right disrespectful. don't be a b***ch about it but let him know in a way that he know u ant playing. Like I don't like it and don't do it again. take the sex away a couple of times, don't cook a couple of times. That will get them every time. HE WILL LEARN
Be firm and state you're position then just polish it off with something sweet.





He'll love it- trust me, works for me all the time.
just so you know you dont need to ask only girls about this. And a health relationship between two people is when neither one or the other is the leader with the upper hand and the follower the lower hand
u naturally have the upper hand if he asks u out, not vice versa. just stay a bit more aloof. not too aloof to block the relationship, but let him talk and give u choices.... i don't really know, it comes natural to me.
my kind of question! ok it takes alot of time and effort but you have to act like you dont care about the realtiionship as much anymore! its hard but if your in a lasting realstionship it will work. then you just start saying stuff like, when he say ';im going to go to a party with my friends'; (or wat ever it may be) and you say ';well i really dont want you to but if you want go ahead i really dont care anymore...i'll make plans of my own'; (key word anymore) if that doesnt work just crack the whip! you may look controlling but it works! trust me
Drop subtle hints that elude to the fact that it'd be in his best interests to give you what you want.





For example... lets say you're conflicting over where to go on a Saturday night.





He wants to go to the bar, you want to go for dinner and a movie.





You know honey... if we stay out late and drink tonight, I'm probably just going to fall asleep later. If we make it an early night... we can spend some time together after... *winkwink smile flirt*





Or - You know... I'd be really happy if we did -this- *wink smile giggle*
What I have come to notice is that the person who cares the least has the most control. It works! Drop the leash with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Don't call as much, don't make plans as much, even if you're not busy don't call them back right away, be less available, take more time for yourself, those types of things. I'm not saying that you actually have to care less! But, think about it. Think about a dog. If you scold it or stop paying attention to it, it comes running back to you. If you want your dogs attention it is much less likely to listen to you. Does that make sence to you? Sounds weird but it will work. Most often people take their mates for granted until they think that they are going to lose them. I guess sort of treat them like crap. I don't do it all the time but every once in a while I do this. Last night in fact, I finally agreed to meet my boyfriend for drinks. It was the first time we had seen each other since Sunday. He would not leave me alone! Just drop the leash. If they really love you and want to be with you they will come back-tail between legs!!
Take my advice I am an Older woman,and I know what I am saying first of all never let a male know your every thought, even if you are dieing to tell it all...keep it all to yourself...then let the male chase you...You never let them control you...what you do is not always be there...like when he wants to make a date with you say oh sorry I have other plans...if he wants to know what you are doing...don't tell him...just say have other plans...and when you get a call from him say oh I have to call you back I am busy..then call him later...let them chase you....have fun with it...when you do the opposite thing being easy they just walk all over you...
I agree with Mr. Chivalry. If either one of you are not happy, then leave. If you're not getting what you want out of the relationship, maybe it's time to find someone who will give you what you want and will be happy to do so.
Why do you want to have the upper hand. Your man will eventually despise you for it.





Try being equals. It's much better.
Why do you need the upper hand in the relationship? That fact alone means you are too controlling. If you think thats what relationships are about you need some counselling NOW. After reading this question how many of you guys would date her for any other reason than putting her in her place? I know I'd advise my son to avoid you like the plague!
I have no idea cause i am very controlling. You just have to let the guy know that you respect yourself and you are not going to belittle yourself for anybody.
If you got the upper hand you would be controlling...........





I.E. You would be a control freak
give him the best head in the world then if that don't work just play hard to get just don't burn yourself. Games can always back fire. have fun
Withhold sex