Why do men feel the need to be in control/have the upper hand of the relationship?!!?

I kind of like a man to be a little controlling in a relationship as I find it masculine and sexy. However, I feel that with me and my boyfriend, it's a competition of who has one up on the other. It's stupid, how can I get him out of this? and for him to open up his feelings also, he only tells me his feelings when he's been drinking.Why do men feel the need to be in control/have the upper hand of the relationship?!!?
Controlling people lack self-esteem and are insecure. Sounds like your boyfriend is both those, plus rather immature. Don't try to change people to suit your needs- find someone you're more compatible with.Why do men feel the need to be in control/have the upper hand of the relationship?!!?
A lot of men feel the need to be in control because they often feel that they have to show that they wear the pants in the relationship. In their mind, we need to know our place in the relationship, so that we don't get out of hand. Well, this is a load of bull. You guys need to really talk this over, so that way you both know your limitations in the relationship. Its all about respect and compromise, if he can't that, then he can't handle you. Hope this helps.
In relationships , alas , people dont change in major ways overnight. Over time (years !) it is possible to persude people to change , but theres no instant fix. I'm afraid you'll either have to be willing to spend time lowly chipping away at it ...or accept it....or find someone new.





It may also be a case of his maturity ; Men who are more immature (not necessarily an AGE thing incidentally) tend to have more problems accepting an equal partner in a relationship.





Ditto expressing his feelings.





Also, you've commented that you like men who are ';A little controlling'; ..but then dilike it when he acts on it ; One generally goes with the other I'm afraid unless you get very lucky.





Incidentally, not ALL men are like that ; Whenever you (or a friend) start generalising like that, its time to take a good look at the type of guy that you date.
a lot of guys are not over controling. you should find one that isnt. or you can tell him if he dont open up to you more you might leave him.
its natural for a guy to feel in control


we got it from our fathers


but yea communicate with him


cause drinking wont help at all


the natural compitition is normal for a guy


like in the movies you see two guys who are best of friends and yet they are trying to always beat the other


its all normal


just support him in what he does


when you do this he feels more relax around you and not always have to compete with you


but you gotta stop his drinking habit


once in a while is ok but


its just plain bad


but i wish you luck


and work things out no fighting
It's because men are driven by their ego and they perceive every situation they are in to be a competition. This includes relationships.





This is why men are totally incompetent at managing relationships, and they should have nothing at all to do with it. A man is a visitor in a relationship.





Unless marriage isn't involved - then it's all about fun.





By the way - don't ever let him tell you his feelings. If he starts drinking and telling how he ';feels'; please just tell him that you don't want to know at all. Trust me - you will be much happier.





Women - you don't want to know our feelings - really - if you saw how we behaved when we are REALLY emotional - you would run for your lives and never look back - it is VERY ugly.





FP
self-esteem problems. the half to be in control or they freak.
u can talk to him about it during a romantic dinner maybe or in a situation when you're intimate with each other, tell him that u would like him to open up and shre his feelings and also that he can do what YOU want once in a while, and mean it. i think he'll understand